UTENSIL/TOOL

It's too important not to have.  But when it comes to how the word utensil is commonly used, is just a little too exclusive.  Well there you go in the kitchen.  The kitchen needs to have utensils which I somehow perceive as a tool.  Whichever, whatever, wherever right?  As long as it serves it's purpose for our everyday lives.  Exactly.

GLOBAL WARNING TO MIGHT AND POWER INTERRUPTION CANDLES

Been staying or spending more time indoors these days.  Well that is how I am really.  I'd rather much prefer to stay indoors a lot.  Unless there'll be more reason to go out to work somewhere.  More ladies & gentlemen would want to do so as well.  The sun I suppose might burn their skins.  It is both funny and sad but that is how it is.  Dark light, darker, lighter.  I have heard and learned about this thing ladies take to stay or go white. And there are those who want to burn their skins. And it's a little frightening and funny at the same time.  I find it unnecessary. Well that's only my opinion.  

Now there is this trend that kept bugging me.  The technologically challenged, the anti-computer, the anti-science, the techno-paranoids, the hacker concept.  This is how it is these days.  If that is how it takes for this place to somehow move on, progress, function at least to make homes more livable, why not?

But is there a reason to worry about energy? I guess there is.  Maintenance, shut down, power distribution hmmm rearrangement?  I'm not sure.  But there must be a valid reason why.  And somehow it is more fun without that thing we call Power.  Power Power Power.  Okay electric.  The electric election season.

TRAVELLING ITINERARIES & UNPLANNED MISDIRECTIONS

I should have written all about this a month ago because it had to be written at some point by me anyway so I won't have to forget such rare events.  Well one of my maternal cousin had to visit the country.  And somehow whenever he visits, I get to be more busy than the usual days I have here.  He is half Filipino, half-German, so it comes to no surprise that he'd get more attention from my aunts, cousins & even neighbors especially when it comes to producing some kind of "pahalipay" as we call it here... some goodies he brought with him like candies, chocolates and other unusual stuff.  He decided to spend his birthday with us.  I heard that his father, back out in Moosburg, will be having a back operation for which he'd be back by then for him to look after.  His mother, my aunt, must have decided I think that it would save her the trouble of having to tend to her husband and his son at the same time in such awful circumstances.  I am not even sure why anyway.  

But then it is all decided that he'd be around for a while though it's nothing new anyway since he has been visiting the Philippines for several times. Since he was a child up until now, he says it's his eight time to visit the city.  And so whenever he visits, it does feel as though am having my own vacation as well.  Well, it is summertime anyway right?  Oh am not even sure anymore.  Well as I can recall from his past visits, whenever he is around we'd spend more time at the beach, have a nice family reunion.  It is not a secret that he's a hard drinker.  It was some sort of like or kinda like their usual drink back in Germany.  Drinking beers or any alcoholic drink he says almost comes naturally on every meal, and even before, after and in betweens.  

I won't have to write the details but I have to say it was tiresome and wonderful at the same time.  Considering this season where people from here are starting to gear up for another election season.  I'd also got to go along and visit the white sand beaches, the waterfalls, & the enchanted river of Surigao del Sur.  The only thing that kept me a little bored & disappointed was the thought that the trip would have been more comforting and relaxing if the travel itinerary was well planned at least, including the transportation.  But hell yeah, hey it was fun!

COCKS, COCKERS, & COCKSUCKERS

I have always been a little fascinated with chickens.  From way back as I can remember, there were always chickens everywhere.  I don't really seem to care.  They are just there. Rooster, I think that's what they call the male chicken and the female chicken they call, Hen.  Eggs are usually laid by the hen through the rooster. And we get to feed them when we get together, and of course make them kill each other like they were idiots.

I know people, closer than you think, who know a whole lot about raising fowls.  Some were too obsessed to mention about, and others were just a little too interested.  When you come to think of it, election season is a lot like making roosters, chickens fight each other.  They usually just call it "cockfighting".  It really is kinda fun to watch, not mentioning the camaraderie amongst aficionados and enthusiasts alike.  Well, there are other things we need to show. And the arena, the cockpit, or wherever, whatever what you want to call it, yards out just the same.

EARLY ELOPING YEARS

"ya, it's a leap year and this day is making it so"

Nothing really that different  other than that it is another day.  And I'll have to experience this day first before making another presumption.

I'll know later.

WE ARE ALL GUIDED BY OUR OWN VOICES

Hearing voices.  What a  concept? Whoever dared to make one think he is hearing voices and made it or call it some kind of disease just to make one ask for help from a certain psycho, psychiatrist, psychologist and thus bringing him to pay somebody for a treatment he does not really need.

Before when we had to learn to read, the teacher made us stand up and read aloud what we are reading.  And so this has made us learn not just to listen to ourselves speaking, but also making ourselves heard.  By the time we are old enough to read without speaking, like lying down in bed silently reading a book, a paperback, a novel, a short story, we still do hear voices, right?  Don't tell me you are not hearing voices, your own voice whenever you are reading. Or someone else's voice when a character of that certain book you're reading has that familiar tone. 

What more nonsense do we have to perceive from the medical world?  The amount and the number of made-up stories directed by people who are bored out of their wits just to make sense of what they have learned which eventually took a toll, a slowdive to make them realize it's all wrong.

The amount of drugs they did somehow invented, the pharmaceutical industry, the medical representatives, pharmaceuticals, doctors that continue to  feed us with stories that depict people who had a hard time with their lives. Say , people who went to war somewhere, a soldier, a policeman, an activist who hurt him or herself by joining causes.  And thus or eventually led him to a clinic or a hospital because he had hurt himself so bad.  And the people who are more than willing to perform the task of caring for them.  And the stories they had to tell for the media who got them for free to grope and sell to the public who somehow begged for that concept of transparency that somehow never happen to some group of people who are afraid or embarrassed to make their past misgivings, past sins and the people they have wronged, hurt and fooled known.  And the people who found out about these felt the need to ask from them, like they owe them something because they have been wronged.

I have seen parents being manipulated into thinking that their sons and daughters has or had this and that.  Never thinking that they could be wrong. That somehow they still fought for that kind of thinking, the lessons they have learned, that awful concept of "it runs in the blood" thing, the "it's just the way it is", & the old ways, the primitive thinking, and the new, that goes round about.  Stagnant. The wait. For the greater glory of God.

SPORTS PORTAL

At some point it would be the only thing that matters.  Giving it away for the hungrier.  Say in a portal of thoughts conflicting.   Membranes and debacles are always in the way.  And your goals go out the window.  Stole the senses out of you.  Like an extra, an unreasonable additional structural member.  But it is saner you say your mind persuaded.  It is safer.  It is more kind and acceptable.  You tried holding it back much longer than everybody could ever do.  The sadness of it all.  And the only words they want to hear from you are "It's okay, I understand."

And you'd end up searching for another thing to busy your head about.  Like an empty crossword puzzle to attack.  You become a book page flipper, a blanket and pillow cuddler, an eye closer.   That thing you do when it is sad,  Breathing in and out.  To the sports portal.  Which sport is what you keep asking yourself,  And the environs that go with it.  It is a bad year you say.  A good year for most.  There will be more inspiring stories to listen to.  More entertaining.  Like that memory somebody did not forget.  That sad refrain before the chorus.  That flicker before the light, and the time that melts your cigarettes away.

Something was wrong you said but nobody cared.  Say another missing reinforcing member of a structure you built your thoughts to, And the words, set of words, a sentence, a paragraph that was meant to just form a question mark.  Art to appreciate and to just look forward to anyhow.  The beauty that brings more quests for questions.  The translations and synonyms to deduce about.  These words that I can betray and push around.

INTENTIONAL OUTRIGHT

I hate to say this but people can be bought.  And the sad thing is that it only happens if you'd let it.  I happen to grew up in a house where there were too many aunts & uncles around.  I am not even sure how that happened.  Now I can't be sure if it's a blessing or if it is a curse.  I grew up nervous all the time.  The only thing that bothers me more is when they leave and come back.  Like nothing ever happened.  Most of them left of course.  In time they realized that they need to have their own homes and raise a family of their own.  And so I used to have more cousins around than I needed to.  Most of them has made me how I am today.  And because my father was well off back then, we were blessed to go study to a private school, Something that I always tried and try to make parents and peers proud of.  But the truth was that it was quite stressful, needless to say though that we always have help around.   Something that I felt not really that necessary.

As time went by, that understanding that it can't be the way it was.  The unconscious search for that feeling once again does come from time to time,  That unconscious yearn for that old feeling sometimes do come back much to my dismay.  There were times that you wish it does not happen again and although the thought to escape can not be suppressed because  the pull was so strong.

CAMPAIGNS OF THE MASSES AND THE ESCAPISTS

Yesterday I listened to this debate on TV.  And before I could say or write anything I might regret later, let me give the facts from my own perspective.   Most people lose their faces.  It's called the face of defeat, and the other thing we can call is a loser.  And there are different types of losers. Those who know how to accept loss, those who don't know how to accept loss, and those who can not help it that the loss has affected, will affect, and continue to have a great negative effect on them.  

Such is the idea of Polity.  The need to continue their lifestyles has clouded their judgments.  I know that this would or could hurt those people, those famous personalities we look up on TV, those whom we admired and respected, those honorable, to the point of helplessness.  They got entangled with their own worlds, blinded by their own views of the reality.

And as I go on with this writing, I thought of killing myself a zillion hundred times in my head.  I don't know why.  Nobody could even tell me why.  And that includes you, those who I thought were always on my side turned out to be those who would betray me.  After this, I'd wonder yet again.  What about that? what does it matter anyway.  What is there to fight about for anyway now?  Will it ever feel the same again?  Or is this is just it now?

FRATERNITIES, SORORITIES, ORGANIZATIONAL CONFUSION AND AFFILIATIONS

We have got this problem.  Hmm Problem...let us call it a problem.  This idea of associations, a group, a tribe, a clan... in a nutshell, the need to belong.  Somehow somewhere I hear this wicked voice...how sad and funny and inspiring! For a few seconds, minutes if not hours and days, we'll be hypnotized into thinking their own visions and thoughts.  What is real is what you see so they say.  What you get is what you see.  What you see is what you get.  What am I looking at now? Come on, we are all just individuals.  The collective.  Sure does seem sane I know.  The What would you do if you follow me-What would you do if I follow you?  There is that daily struggle, each his or her own real struggle to feel real.  But why struggle to feel real if what's real for most collective thought is the physical?  

Yes, I must be hungry, breathing.  We have got loud brains which we do not really need.  We yearn & need.