EARLY ELOPING YEARS

"ya, it's a leap year and this day is making it so"

Nothing really that different  other than that it is another day.  And I'll have to experience this day first before making another presumption.

I'll know later.

WE ARE ALL GUIDED BY OUR OWN VOICES

Hearing voices.  What a  concept? Whoever dared to make one think he is hearing voices and made it or call it some kind of disease just to make one ask for help from a certain psycho, psychiatrist, psychologist and thus bringing him to pay somebody for a treatment he does not really need.

Before when we had to learn to read, the teacher made us stand up and read aloud what we are reading.  And so this has made us learn not just to listen to ourselves speaking, but also making ourselves heard.  By the time we are old enough to read without speaking, like lying down in bed silently reading a book, a paperback, a novel, a short story, we still do hear voices, right?  Don't tell me you are not hearing voices, your own voice whenever you are reading. Or someone else's voice when a character of that certain book you're reading has that familiar tone. 

What more nonsense do we have to perceive from the medical world?  The amount and the number of made-up stories directed by people who are bored out of their wits just to make sense of what they have learned which eventually took a toll, a slowdive to make them realize it's all wrong.

The amount of drugs they did somehow invented, the pharmaceutical industry, the medical representatives, pharmaceuticals, doctors that continue to  feed us with stories that depict people who had a hard time with their lives. Say , people who went to war somewhere, a soldier, a policeman, an activist who hurt him or herself by joining causes.  And thus or eventually led him to a clinic or a hospital because he had hurt himself so bad.  And the people who are more than willing to perform the task of caring for them.  And the stories they had to tell for the media who got them for free to grope and sell to the public who somehow begged for that concept of transparency that somehow never happen to some group of people who are afraid or embarrassed to make their past misgivings, past sins and the people they have wronged, hurt and fooled known.  And the people who found out about these felt the need to ask from them, like they owe them something because they have been wronged.

I have seen parents being manipulated into thinking that their sons and daughters has or had this and that.  Never thinking that they could be wrong. That somehow they still fought for that kind of thinking, the lessons they have learned, that awful concept of "it runs in the blood" thing, the "it's just the way it is", & the old ways, the primitive thinking, and the new, that goes round about.  Stagnant. The wait. For the greater glory of God.

SPORTS PORTAL

At some point it would be the only thing that matters.  Giving it away for the hungrier.  Say in a portal of thoughts conflicting.   Membranes and debacles are always in the way.  And your goals go out the window.  Stole the senses out of you.  Like an extra, an unreasonable additional structural member.  But it is saner you say your mind persuaded.  It is safer.  It is more kind and acceptable.  You tried holding it back much longer than everybody could ever do.  The sadness of it all.  And the only words they want to hear from you are "It's okay, I understand."

And you'd end up searching for another thing to busy your head about.  Like an empty crossword puzzle to attack.  You become a book page flipper, a blanket and pillow cuddler, an eye closer.   That thing you do when it is sad,  Breathing in and out.  To the sports portal.  Which sport is what you keep asking yourself,  And the environs that go with it.  It is a bad year you say.  A good year for most.  There will be more inspiring stories to listen to.  More entertaining.  Like that memory somebody did not forget.  That sad refrain before the chorus.  That flicker before the light, and the time that melts your cigarettes away.

Something was wrong you said but nobody cared.  Say another missing reinforcing member of a structure you built your thoughts to, And the words, set of words, a sentence, a paragraph that was meant to just form a question mark.  Art to appreciate and to just look forward to anyhow.  The beauty that brings more quests for questions.  The translations and synonyms to deduce about.  These words that I can betray and push around.

INTENTIONAL OUTRIGHT

I hate to say this but people can be bought.  And the sad thing is that it only happens if you'd let it.  I happen to grew up in a house where there were too many aunts & uncles around.  I am not even sure how that happened.  Now I can't be sure if it's a blessing or if it is a curse.  I grew up nervous all the time.  The only thing that bothers me more is when they leave and come back.  Like nothing ever happened.  Most of them left of course.  In time they realized that they need to have their own homes and raise a family of their own.  And so I used to have more cousins around than I needed to.  Most of them has made me how I am today.  And because my father was well off back then, we were blessed to go study to a private school, Something that I always tried and try to make parents and peers proud of.  But the truth was that it was quite stressful, needless to say though that we always have help around.   Something that I felt not really that necessary.

As time went by, that understanding that it can't be the way it was.  The unconscious search for that feeling once again does come from time to time,  That unconscious yearn for that old feeling sometimes do come back much to my dismay.  There were times that you wish it does not happen again and although the thought to escape can not be suppressed because  the pull was so strong.

CAMPAIGNS OF THE MASSES AND THE ESCAPISTS

Yesterday I listened to this debate on TV.  And before I could say or write anything I might regret later, let me give the facts from my own perspective.   Most people lose their faces.  It's called the face of defeat, and the other thing we can call is a loser.  And there are different types of losers. Those who know how to accept loss, those who don't know how to accept loss, and those who can not help it that the loss has affected, will affect, and continue to have a great negative effect on them.  

Such is the idea of Polity.  The need to continue their lifestyles has clouded their judgments.  I know that this would or could hurt those people, those famous personalities we look up on TV, those whom we admired and respected, those honorable, to the point of helplessness.  They got entangled with their own worlds, blinded by their own views of the reality.

And as I go on with this writing, I thought of killing myself a zillion hundred times in my head.  I don't know why.  Nobody could even tell me why.  And that includes you, those who I thought were always on my side turned out to be those who would betray me.  After this, I'd wonder yet again.  What about that? what does it matter anyway.  What is there to fight about for anyway now?  Will it ever feel the same again?  Or is this is just it now?

FRATERNITIES, SORORITIES, ORGANIZATIONAL CONFUSION AND AFFILIATIONS

We have got this problem.  Hmm Problem...let us call it a problem.  This idea of associations, a group, a tribe, a clan... in a nutshell, the need to belong.  Somehow somewhere I hear this wicked voice...how sad and funny and inspiring! For a few seconds, minutes if not hours and days, we'll be hypnotized into thinking their own visions and thoughts.  What is real is what you see so they say.  What you get is what you see.  What you see is what you get.  What am I looking at now? Come on, we are all just individuals.  The collective.  Sure does seem sane I know.  The What would you do if you follow me-What would you do if I follow you?  There is that daily struggle, each his or her own real struggle to feel real.  But why struggle to feel real if what's real for most collective thought is the physical?  

Yes, I must be hungry, breathing.  We have got loud brains which we do not really need.  We yearn & need.

ENTERTAINMENT IN SPIRES

I long to write about how the entertainment industry has and always will affect how we treat each other.  It has produced the most unbelievable stories.  Some do claim validity of its honesty to portray characters on stories that we somehow do accept and follow to be true, sensible and inspiring.  I have this awful thought though as to how it has managed to brainwash us to think that the lives of the people inside the screens seem to be the only type of people that should exist.  The lives of these actors, actresses, sportsmen, musicians, & artists seem to have dominated our mindset aside from the other usual things that we have to look out for.  And it is true perhaps that it has made living in this world a little more bearable in some way or another.  The industry has kept our lives on speed.  It's not saying too much that some imaginary things and fantasies had to be personified to fulfill that dreamy feel, that awesome feeling, that heavenly feel we kept yearning for to last a lifetime.

But you and I have his or her own way of facing the world.  We live now in a world where we cared and wanted to hear more from other people's activities rather than our own.  We now live in a place where our mothers and sisters cared more about this famous actress' or artist's pregnancy.  We cared much more about how, to whom or where this TV star is hanging out with.  We cared much more of their own accomplishments and their achievements, never thinking about our own.  And if some point we were so amazed that we tend to value their judgments more than our own, we get blinded by their mistakes and misgivings like divorces, unacceptable behavior, several marriages, child neglect, broken homes, drug abuse and the like.

Now we even praise some of these people instead of ignoring the fact that it demoralizes the young fandom.  And influencing them to the point that their fall brings about the same fandom and followers' fall.  Well we could call their lives more colorful than how we lived our own lives depending on how one defines life. And I think much has been written about this topic anyway, And who am I to anyway to disturb this joy out of them.

SPAS, WELLNESS CENTERS, RECESS AND BREAK PERIODS

I never recalled a time on each of our adolescent years where we had to go to wellness centers, spas, or massage/masahe parlors.  When we were kids, we only get to sleep on our own chairs or ask permission from the teacher to be excused.  And we may eventually be sent to the canteen or the clinic for some kind of special treatment, food, beverage, or maybe some kind of medical care to make us feel better and back at our usual selves again.  This is how it is basically.  We see our school dentists, school doctors, and school nurses.  We also get to see the people in the school canteen.  They look much less threatening.  Everybody knows how delightful that feels.  It's easily a little more comforting if one has his or her own lunch or snackbox.  

And as time passes by to the teenage years, adolescence to adulthood, growing pains sets in.  And we can no longer deny the fact that we do need these services.  But it is not really right to  be dependent on it.  I am really quite surprised how health services progressed back here.  It is not healthy to see too much health-conscious people around.  It makes one feel that we're all sick in some way even though we are not.  Illnesses such as the common cold, flu and cough does happen to us, to each one of us once in a while, but I do sometimes feel the pretensions.  Like some adult who pretends to cough, or wheeze and sneeze.  Inciting some kind of disease or some kind of another virus name , and create scare tactics through media, which to some extent would then produce a new supplement, vitamin, a drug, a placebo, a medicine...in tablets, in capsules, in syrups, in fluid or in whatever form.  It's just plain sad now.  And so other than this practice, we also had people who always has this idea that he'll or she'll feel a lot more better if he or she is physically fit.  Making that terminology "Physically Fit" to embody some kind character in a superhero movie.  And that has somehow made all the fuss.  It has really made all the fuss in terms of the Physical parts of our selves.  to each in his or her own preference of beauty along with health and wellness for which we try to adore and cherish and personify.     

HEADACHES, TAXICABS, BEERS, & BEACH RESORTS

Imagine a world where you only need to accommodate a group of people, or even just a single person in a place where one can find the most scenic ocean resort.   Say a place where one can find the clearest and bluest waters and the finest sand.  Of course there'll be a lot of comments here and that.  Some are constructive criticisms and a lot I must say would depend on how the mood was sort of setup not only by the owners and the occupants, but also the friendliness of nature, atmosphere, the weather.  

There are a lot of places down here where one can unwind and get reacquaint with their own  selves along with their own families, relatives, friends, and familiar strangers.  And to know that these are in itself a way of knowing that some time, some day, and in some distant expectations perhaps, it is comforting to know that we have the oceans, shores as a friend we can go to and reflect with once in a while.

It's been a little strange though, that although we had so much blessings here when it comes to places to have leisure,   beach resorts, amusement parks, recreation centers,.. etc., still most people from here prefer to make a living outside the territories.  And I am not really sure why.  No one ever really knows.

COLLISION MISSIONS, ADD MISSIONS, ADMISSIONS, ADMITTANCE AND ADMONITIONS,

The additions to where the things and dreams that came true in your domiciles may or may not prove to be the things and dreams an occupant may need after all.  After all that fun and tiresome tasks at work with colleagues and fast friends, there'll be more tasks heavier than the other.  When that time comes, when the confusion of deciding what is real has to be considered.  If it's just a big joke or just plain nonsense, like searching for that end to which you thought at first would be refreshing could be that same pressure that happens in loops.  The vision and the phases that needs attending could very well be the same reason why one needs to just not engage. Not engage.  Because of that learning curve, the process, that had to be taught to be more accepted.   The psyche for which these might or can prove wrong depends on the occupants.  

I have observed how families have grown to be.  At least at some point in their lives I must say.  It boils down to how it's done and served.  Will it be out of anger? Will it be out of lust? Will it be out of convenience? Will it be out of the need to strengthen a business?  Will it be out of spiritual growth?  Will it be out of the season that changes time and time again?  Will it just be out of a teenage angst that produced an unwanted pregnancy, a child that came their way?  Will it be out of the friendship that's law and behold, the only real thing that mattered?  Or will it just be another problem, a rentable space, a temporary shelter, a hidden second family, third, fourth or fifth extensives?

There are so many ways to perceive cultures.