CARSCARS

There's something wrong.  The roads were paved wider alright, but it felt so bare and empty.  An island on the middle would look fine. And the ride was not really smooth.  There were still some parts undone, some parts with potholes.  There's this street that has around maye eight to ten humps if I'm not mistaken.   Yeah, more or less. And I also heard this one street that had one too many streethumps that they in their own right, wrecked one on their own volition, with maybe a sledgehammer?  I'm not sure. 

There's this one instance that the taxidriver, upon passing, would not even complain about it anymore.  About how many times he had to slow down and hit the under chassis to the streethump.  That  "grrrrg"  sound.  He says "This is not my car anyway.  I'm only sort of renting this from my boss".  Yeah, who cares?  To the shortest ramp that's maybe made out of cement waste from a building construction, not sure. I don't know about you but aren't these shortramps or streethumps being put on the streets for the purpose of caution when signages won't do? A signal to slow down?

Who cares?  Lets burn rubber.  I don't know about you but I don't really have a car.  I'm quite sure I can learn how.  But there's a requirement for a license before driving.  A lie sense, yeah a lie sense.  But so what if I don't have a car?  You won't get too far that's why, idiot.  Yeah, it's kinda weird having no car when you can see that almost every household now has one.  But how did they get their cars?  Did they get it for free?  Give away cars?  Is there somewhere I can sign up to get one?  Lol. 

They drove along God knows where, I don't  really care.  But what good is a car without a decent home to park it? A garage, a nice carport that's attached to your house.  Yeah, that should do it.  You need a space for it.   You don't need to park it outside our house.  The neighbors might get confused.  They would think that its ours which clearly is not.  Perhaps you shouldn't really have to park cars on the driveways unless you're a visitor, or can you?   I don't know.  Read between the lines. Tell me about it.  Are there rules for this practice?  Once there was a car upfront who was not able to park his car safely.  There was a ramp that goes all down to the gate.  so it rolled by itself down as it crossed the street and went directly to our fence.  Poor fence, with mother's shrubs and plants.  It was a wreck. I was able to take pictures of it.  Good thing the car stopped as it hit our fence.   Wow, there was a loud bang.  Yeah, rock n roll.

The new neighbor immediately apologized for it and offered to fix the fence right away.  They also gave us Pancit Malabon, yeah. It also clearly did rose another neighbor's attention, a contractor, offered his services to do the fence renovation for free apparently.  And there right on the same day, our fence was looking good again. And it looks as though like nothing happened.  These things happen and we see the good in everyone.  Yeah, that was fast.  Big deal. Wow, rock and roll.

Why do we see more cars on driveways? They seem to block the right-of-way. You can't fold a car and carry it with you on your room, can you?  It's not like Mr. Hank who somehow can shrink buildings and cars and even people.  You know?  Ant Man?  Lol.

Yeah, I see friends who now even has two of these so called cars.  Yeah, I can also see that they too have motorbikes.  Wow, a motorbike and a car.  Surely, you'd be needing a lot of fuel for it or I don't know.  Weren't they using water to fuel their cars now?  I even heard about this electric car which you can charge on your convenience outlets.  I also heard that you can burn more calories when you drive inside the car.  Sitting all the way to point B and back to point A. Wow, rock and roll.

And they have this races.  Oh dear, how sweet.  I hear they have these exclusive races for this car afficionados.  Wow, great.  Can I join?  Haha,  Where's your car?  You're still really fucked up. Are you?   But wait, do you really need a car? Lol. More coffee?

DEATH TO THE TEAMS AND HARDCORE STATISTS

Isn't the government just an entity that somehow only happened because of two or several ever colliding groups of people? And so you will hear it somewhere again sometime.  That it's all just for entertainment.  Yeah, at some point it really is. A form of entertainment.  Just like any other game where there are teams.  Like a sport of basketball, a tennis match, a game.  A competition of sorts that sometimes gets too useless.  But somehow you'd still hear it being given too much attention on the TV, the radio, the news.

It really is close to what we call that bedwar among newly or old married couples.  The struggle to keep themselves together. Team husband and team wife.

And somehow it becomes too much that it forces you to be  who you don't want to be.  They'll somehow pull or drag you along their conflict unconsciously.  They'll somehow bring you to a point where there's no one else to turn to but them.  Funny thing is would you let it?  And if somehow you don't agree with how it's going, they'd call you a rebel.  Yeah, some sort of rebel. an opposing figurehead.  They'll treat you like you don't belong. A punk?

But there are other worlds.  Your world and mine. Do we have the same radio frequency? What channel are you in? What space are you in?  Do we dissolve? What vibe? 

Yeah, get away.  Snap out of it.  It's not something we really need. It's too worldly if you know what I mean.  It was born out of someone  or somebody else's mistake, or sins and faults piling up, sludge, scum, crap.  It's not really your problem, not your lookout. Get away.  Pray for them instead...

And do we need it for what again?  For the compost.  

And would you rather watch porn?  It's still on.  Have you ever  really wondered why? Team husband, team wife?  Who are these people?

IN TOWNS

There's a roadwork somewhere.  There always is I suppose. A building that needs to keep going while the roadwork is commencing.  It resumes and sometimes it stops. The work sometimes stops.  If you are up to it and expecting it to be done by schedule,  then maybe you're one of those that badly needs it done.  Maybe you need it for your business transport.  Maybe you needed to see it for yourself up close, keeping the motor running so they say. Or maybe you have a car, a motor vehicle, a pedicab or just a bicycle, a skateboard, rollerskates, your shoes, your sandals, your bare feet. Whatever it is that takes you from point A to point B.

And so you needed it paved well.  A walkway, a driveway, an alley, a pathwalk, a sidewalk for the street, the road, the highway, the expressway.  A flyover, rotunda, a cul de sac, a curve, a dead end. A pavement, oh yes... a pavement.  We need a well paved pavement here.  For our avenues, our boulevards, the motorways, the bridges. 

Heavy traffic and overpopulation of vehicles cause mishaps and accidents or is it the other way around?  Do wider roads and smooth roads cause more of this?  Or is it alright to have a certain amount of traffic congestion on our way to work, on our way home.  So we'd never have to keep going somewhere, somewhere, yeah somewhere out. But the schools are located there.  Out there.  Our offices, our work spaces, our gathering places. Yeah, they're out there.  They somehow is located out there. Uptown, downtown...town, town, to the town.  Are you in town?

And then there goes our farms.  Our mountain, our valleys, the hills, plateaus? The unpaved road that will take you there.  Somewhere that may take you to brooks, streams, lakes and maybe a waterfall.  To the ocean, and back again.  

POWER, MADNESS AND DIVINE INTERVENTIONS

So say there's a married couple who bears a child.  The couple planned for this child's future so they put up a trust fund. The trust fund is put up and made for the child's  education.  An amount that would reach maybe around a million currency more or less. 

But then this married couple broke up.  The couple separated leaving the child to the mother.

The father sometimes visit now and then to see the child.

There was an annulment. The father who was alone, found another woman.  This woman

knew about this trust fund. She somehow managed to withdrew some if not most of it without

the father's knowledge.  

Now, the father found out that this woman has another man in her life so the father broke up with this woman.  And soon later found out that he's been had by this woman.  He found out about the lost trust fund.  Now he's running after that woman who was running with another man.

So, what happens?

I don't know yet.  You tell me.

So say there's a college student who went to college to finish  school but then saw his classmates working while doing so, making them look more upbeat, in control of their lives.  So this student  was also led to work while studying when there really was no need other than the reason to sustain and help pay for fees which really is one of the parents'concern. The student felt the need to do so since payment for fees seem not to go as scheduled or none at all.

But then the student was tied up unable to follow through.  The student was not able to finish the final requirement for graduation, his thesis which he supposedly had to present but was oddly unable to.  

By hook or by crook?

Bribe the teachers, the school?

Just one of the stories of a college dropout.

Was it for the best?  Was it a blessing in disguise?

So, what happens?

I don't know yet.  You tell me.

So say there's a high school student who went to school to finish high school but then saw his classmates working while doing so, making them look more upbeat, in control of their lives.  So this student was also led to work while studying when there really was no need other than the reason to sustain and help pay for fees which really is one of the parents' concern.  The student felt the need to

do so since payment for fees seem not to go as scheduled or none at all.

But then the student was tied up unable to follow through.  The student was not able to finish the final requirement for graduation, the exam which the student supposedly had to pass but was oddly unable to.  

Remedial classes?

Summer classes?

By hook or by crook?

Bribe the teachers, the school?

Just one of the stories of a high school dropout.

Was it for the best?  Was it a blessing in disguise?

So, what happens?

I don't know yet.  You tell me.

I heard and read about GED in High School.  Do they also have this in College?  Should we rather make some collages instead?  And what do you think would they call it if there should be any?

Yeah, I've seen how it is.  I've seen how you managed to have achieved this and that.  But I also saw your own houses in disarray. I've seen how you went from here to there and from there to here.  But I've seen how you've left some other things hanging around like garbage.  Your families in debris.  Your children unclothed, dirty, filthy and unattended.  Your huts and shacks left in shambles, your rooms smell. 

I've seen you gone to popular schools alright.  But I've seen how you treat people with disrespect. I have seen how you've grown from dumb to educated to being abusive, rebellious.  Was it because of stress, strain, pain, menopause, insecurity, credit cards?  Was it because of the hunger for prestige, for honor, the hunger for more, greed, for more power?

I don't know.

BREAKING THE CONSTANT READER; EAT MY WORDS

If you've read too many books in English, I'm quite sure that you too have read too many books in Filipino. The conflict of the stories you read on both languages sure does  carry a lot of weight especially when you see newer words.  Newer words that you may not find in the dictionaries and might just have to let go.

And since there will have to come a point in your readings that words won't  really matter when the words won't make sense unless they're put together to form sentences.  Sentences into paragraphs and so on and so forth. 

Another conflict arises as you got too good in doing so.  If you got too good forming words into sentences, and sentences into paragraphs, you got too persuasive, unusually convincing, and even ever hypnotically good.  And your actions do not reflect or describe the words you are trying to express. So speaking it out loud using your mouth might just do the trick.  So apart from thinking, writing and reading silently, we speak our words, our sentences, our paragraphs out loud moderately intelligible, understandable and earnestly, honest, direct, truthful and profound.

So tell me, what do we need?  A speech. Yeah, we need a speech.  But would you rather write a speech or speak it?  I'm afraid it's better and best be both.  And a speech is a speech, is not a sermon.  No one am afraid wants to hear more sermons.   

And now we are down to speaking it more heartily, pure, more from the heart than the head.  More intense, more empowering, more sense. Sense, we need more sense am afraid. Something we can listen to over and over at our own free time, at our own expense, freely in our own capacities.  We can sing it, record it, modify it, make new versions, but the context never change. The essence off of it remains. It's the same. It's what we really need, something that brings peace and harmony in our daily lives, routines. Or what are we here for anyway and would you really even care?  

And my brain , my other brain is here somewhere.  I sure can find them, my other brains somewhere. My heart, head, myself, an alter ego, somewhere. It should be somewhere around.  My backups, for when I stray, for when I get burned out, for when I swerve away, 

When the only thing left to do is...to dance..

THE EDUCATION AND THE UNEDUCATION IN A DIGITAL WORLD

No, somehow you can't stop it.  Anymore than you want or however necessary for you.  It isn't quite the same before. That is why there will always be a little conflict between generations. 

The issue this time would be,"How much computing does someone need to keep everyday?" With all these so called applications, operating systems, programs, software...that someone has digitally shared or sold to you or with you?  Upon deciding which fits your lifestyle, your business, your need.

And there really is something wrong when a person can't seem to find work in his own domicile,area, locality, location, town, city, country. There really is something wrong when a person can't seem to finish  school in his own country. Was there too much distraction everywhere? Was reality too much of a distraction to care that much?  Was the so called real world you see around you too much of a scare to have you thinking "What's the big fuss about school anyway?"

But hey, there really is still that collision between forces that seem  to think that a person does not need it or when  he or she  says that he or she definitely needs it.  It does not really come as something that we really need to keep arguing all the time.  Deducing all about it as if it is unnecessary anymore. Not relevant these days. And there is that differentiation within each other , classified according to their age, levels, and capabilities.  The ability to say *Hey, I can do that..say *Hey, I can do this.*

And there is that awful sense that you have failed or  you have been rejected.  The embarrassment that comes after the expectations.  But when really is it necessary to feel  that way? Does it come without saying that all one has to do is whine about it?  Or that wonderment  inside every household, why aren't we talking about  it anymore?  That endless sense of *Hey, what happened? Do I belong here?  And forget and laugh all about it as if it does not really matter anyway.  Who's to say it really does.  Does it? 

WORRIES

Worries.  Worry.  Don't worry.  It's like having to turn on the computer and learn more about it because everyone else is doing the same.  It's like having to have boyfriends or girlfriends because everyone else is doing the same. That look of envy or disappointment you see on someone else's face. The face they make when you know they came into grips about how things will turn out later on.  A precognition of something that will happen, assuming that it will, eventually. It's like something you had to do or maybe ought to do for your chosen career or whatever.

It's like your friend, a brother or a sister sporting his or her worrisome look on his or her face.  That distrustful look, that look of defiance, distrustful.  And never having to explain a thing about.  And somehow you would leave it that way hanging out unresolved.

It's like you'd rather need to stay away and leave it as it is because anything you can do may or can be used against you.  It's like having watched too many movies, of these films or read too much about this and that.  The negative and  positive traumatic experiences you wished you haven't gone through.

It's like the music, bands you now wished you never have heard about.  It's like those things people should never have talked about on TV, at home, on the telephone, at school, at the office, and at the trip to and fro.  It's like those skills you now wished you never have learned about so someone else wouldn't have to keep bugging or begging you to do tasks for them instead.  It's like the frustration you keep hidden somewhere because somebody else don't have the nerve or the heart to face or confront them themselves.

It's like the lies you keep hearing about and how it keeps you dumb, stupid and insane.  It's like the bird that calls you from a tree every morning since it may have learned that you are planning to build a birdhouse for.  It's like a confession about something you wished you didn't hear from a friend. It's like the drink you never drank, and the bottle you wished you never thrown. It's like a blindspot for a translation.  Worries, worry, don't worry. You can leave me alone.  I wished I never heard that.

It's like that film you wished you haven't watched, pictures you wished you haven't seen, and songs you wished you never heard. books you wished you never read, and people you now wished you never wasted your time about.

It's like the money you now wished you never spent.  And the worry that was useless and should never have happened.

THE BACKHAND, THE FOREHAND, THE SMASH, THE SPIKE, THE KICK, THE SHOT, THE GOAL

There has to be something in the background.  Say, the ground, the horizon, the sky, the trees.  There has to be something in the foreground.  Say, a figure.  Maybe an automobile, a pet, an insect, or maybe another tree.  There just has to be.  It wouldn't look complete, so they say.  There has to be lights and the shades.  And don't forget the colors, the hues,  the tints, the tones...different strokes, different approach, different styles, methods, applications.

And before you really have to make one there has to be a plan, a floor plan...call it a layout whatever but that's how it was.  But before doing so you got to have objectives and space requirements. And before having that you need to have a motivation, an inspiration, an aspiration. Besides the resources, yes, the resources.  You need to have the right resource, the source, the primary, the origin, the start.  So you can start, begin.

And while you're doing so, you need to have the same thing you need while you're doing it.  The way you are, the way it is, the way it was so you'd feel secure.  So you won't stray, so you won't go so far you can't be reached back.  Since it could be something that might or steal your soul away.  Or the task might need more of your time, the task could drain your brain, might need to keep you up so late at night.  You may forget what's real and what's not. You may have to go somewhere, talk to strangers. You may have to keep them informed about what's what, might need to stay away from them too.  You might need to isolate your self.  Yes, indeed.  You may have to find a way to feed yourself without somebody else doing it for you like it used to be.  Hahahahaha.  You need to keep your sanity.  By the way, how far did you go,  father, mother, brother, sister?  How do you brush your teeth?

YOU DIDN'T TELL ME

There are many ways to do these kinds of task.  But somehow, does the line "tricks of the trade' still matter?  Has your virtues evolved?  Even your beliefs about what is and what is not... could change.  And you could or would end up saying to yourself.  "Shit, that was a nightmare."   But is it? Hahahaha.  But there we go, there we are...here we go again.  

Again and a gain.  There we go again.

There are several ways to practice architecture.  Practice, yeah practice.  I'm not really sure why it's called practice.  Professions seem to call what they do everyday at work as a Practice.  Where do we think the practice end?  At the performance?  And isn't a practice a performance itself?  Hahaha

Since I am and have studied several years in this field, it is only fair to keep doing so. Or try at least to keep doing so.  You have to say it to yourself most of the time.  Because that's just how you keep yourself sane after having to keep in tune with whatever is going on that really matters.  Your line of work...your forte.  Whatever it is.  

 I did put some green tea on my coffee.  And Guided By Voices is playing. "How Do You Spell Heaven'

GAWK & CRAWL

There's something puzzling about crawl spaces.  No one pays too much attention to it down here. Who cares?  It isn't that important.  Why do you want to be self righteous? Save it, let it go. What's wrong with you?  Yes, you won't have to pay attention unless you need to at some point. It's like having to prepare for something that would or might happen eventually.  Like losing your teeth and wearing dentures at some point.  Or losing your hair, going bald on some areas of your head.  Or something like losing your own sense of humor, stolen taken by some invisible thief or something like contagious paranoia.  And the society keeps reminding you to just relax.  Don't worry about tomorrow.  Tomorrow will worry about itself.  Yeah right.

I see crawl spaces in between the floor beams and the roof beams, between the ceilings of every floor, or that spaces under roofs above the ceilings.  Places where it gets too hot and very dark for someone to crawl to.  You know, whenever you find yourself in your room alone in the daytime or nightime.  And as you lay on your bed, reading the paper, a book or something, you hear these scuffling noises on your ceilings.  And you keep wondering what could it be.  And you say to yourself, It must be the cat or just some mouse again, chasing each other.  And there are days when you are alone once again.  And the sound gets louder.  And you begin to wonder if that's a rat or a cat or even a dog or some other feline, mongrel, bigger creature.  But it sounds heavier.  Hmmm.  A cat doesn't sound like that. That sounds heavier.   And as you begin to  pound your ceiling with a broom or something.  To knock the ceilings, to tell them.  "Hey, keep it silent up there!", things would mellow down just to find out that it happens all over again.  Scratching the wood out of your closets, drawers, your cabinets, whatever that''s made of wood.  You find them crawling somewhere again. And hide as you begin to go after them. "Hey, where do you think you're going?"

And as the days go by you have forgotten how many times this has happened before.  Watching your brother or your sister pinching his or her nose close, talking like an alien, taking out this dead rat out of the house.  "Oh crap, that smells bad,  really..really...it does."  And there you are, you find each other washing each other's hands, shoes, feet or something with soap...yeah with soap and water of course, and whatever else that smells disinfecting.. like alcohol...Shit! that stinks bad!...Eeeeeew gross!"

But then you try to look forward to change the lights over head.  That ceiling.  That ceiling that's been repainted all over  and over again.  And then that crawl space.  That small space.  Just around a meter or lower.  Come on.  It's more like walking, with knees bent.  No one really crawls up there except the rodents. And as you go through that manhole, that ventilation space, usually through the bathrooms, carrying a flashlight to see what's up there. And there it is.  That world up your ceilings.  Electrical wires, junction boxes, trusses made of wood, flexible hoses...oh dear..  bolts, and what else?  Cobwebs, dirt and the smell of rodent feces.  That time you really wish if you could just wash it all up with a giant soap and a giant water hose.  Or even for just a few minutes, an hour or two, a day or a week, mabe a month.  If only I could remove the whole roof of the house and put it back again..That time you really wished you were a giant...Hahaha.