GET READ OFF THIS AND THAT

I don't understand.  Were you keeping a diary? Haven't we been blessed enough to start being
sensitive to that kind of thought?  What were you doing, writing a book? What happens now if every remark that you hear became sort of a tort?  A sardonic whisper, a sarcastic thought?  Would I end up dumb and stupid?  Is there a need for you to do so? Was it even necessary to point that out? Have I been so close to you to make it forgivable enough?  Have I been so predictable and imperative enough to deserve that kind of treatment? Have we been too close enough to tolerate  such behavior? Is there a need for you to change your ways?

Do you want to hear it or would you rather much prefer to read about it?  Would it make it safer?  Would it be more thoughtful if you see it, hear it?  Or wouldn't it be better if you just feel it?  And if you felt it, would it be real, would it feel real? Would it feel true?  Truer if you you see it, hear it, and feel it?

What happens now if every word you hear from this day forward are nothing but confessions?  Confessions of things that gets a little too sad than before.  Or happier when it feels brighter.

Did I talk too much?  Did I?  Have I said too much to you? Tutu to you... Hehehe

THE BASIC UNIT SPREADS

As I write this, I've been thinking about toasting bread or nevermind toasting it as long as the bread came from the oven from the bakeshop. I can eat them fine, I always find them tasty anyway. Not that I don't need a spread for it.  A spread,  Hmm a sandwich spread..wow  A fresh cup of coffee from the coffeemaker..no, no, don't need a coffin maker  just yet although I have managed to have carried a  coffin-like shape box before,  Yes,  I can still remember using it as a sort of storage for stacking cash.  Paper bills of different colors, and of course coins of assorted sizes. Different rectangular things and round shaped metal.  I was enthralled to have been assigned to keep them beside my makeshift bed on site before. I had to count them.  I had to keep them so I could pass them on for the building's hard working workers. The foreman, the carpenters, the masonry men, the steelmen,  the painters, the welders, the plumbers, & the younger ones we call the labor, the help, the assistants or to for whomever does need them paper and metal things. It does feel a little strange for me to do so but it's just the way it was, my assignment before. For I was one among the staff who had to assist the architect in any way I can.  

Just one of many tasks we had to keep doing while were in or at the helm of finishing a structure for the province. Well, I can almost always do feel the smell of smoke out from a burning  firewood somewhere.  As you get up and bathe in the open air, water from a drum, a barrell rusting green with algae of sorts,  the construction helmet as that thing you use for pouring water over your head.  And the ducks that kept roaming around, the chickens, the roosters with chicks , the flock of birds.  That rollcall,  that payroll on the end of the month, that inspiring thought of that ever exciting restless payday. 

STEALING THE ENERGY OUT OF YOUR BONES, KEEPING THE REDS OFF YOUR BLUES, KEEPING BLUE YOUR REDS TO GRIN...THE INSPIRER INSPIREE GAME

(*If I remember anything, I'd make mistakes again.*

The Get Up Kids's Mass Pike ) 

I can still recall this series of episodes which somehow stars Katherine Parkinson from IT Crowd, Dr. Martin.  They have these robots as servants or housekeepers.  And so it does whatever it really wishes you to do.  It has got modes and settings.  And so mother hired another worker for our  home again.  This morning I yet have to express my protest against it once again.  Because I do feel that we do not need a housekeeper for a house where everything really is manageable.  Because I feel that I do not have to keep relating with them.  

Because it always does feel like these servants had to keep attacking this household leaving me with the thought yet again that they seem not to understand, including everyone in my family, that one of the reasons why this city, community fail is this master and servant mentality.  It never ends, Something that I had to keep understanding.  Mother told me to just ignore them if it bothers you that much.  I told her that good for her, we have another human being we could treat like somebody who is of lower class but really does seem to keep bogging me down that it's the other way around, that we always fall for this nonsense.  Mother needed some extra pair of hands,  whenever she is away working outside, thus leaving this creature like an orphan who do not really needed to be here.  Well, I could be wrong I could be right.  But they come and go and it is not right. And I have the right to say so.  It does not resolve anything fruitful.  we'll see, will see. There always is a big sign across every new worker's head here that says *AM I PART OF THE FAMILY?*.   And my answer will always be *DO YOU WANT TO BE?*.

And this had to be one of the most micro-political bullfrogshit that no one never really talks about. And they always had to be the thing that had to be about within. To keep the peace, to keep it sane, to keep it humble,  to keep it clean.  Really now? But the next quest is whether I have to keep mumbling about or expect some kind of gratitude or magic out of this. I hope so too. I can then ask her *Do you know how to architecture?*  Yes, I could bet that they could all do. At some point anyhow.    

GOODS SERVICES

At some point it will or it won't make sense at all.   To sell something in exchange for something.  But it is what's outside.  The goods and services, it wasn't referred to as BADS & DISSERVICES. It is there for us to decide how we treat the marketplace.  It should not be something that had or has to be devoured, meaning, I do want to believe as so, that everyone has that appetite for these needs.  Yes, we have our own preferences, choices, tastes, etcetera etcetera.  

OBSESSESED WITH CHORES

Somehow it does feel tiresome.  In tagalog "nakakapagod" nakakatamad.  In visayan, "kapoy" "hago'*.  And of course at some point you would not really understand every word that comes out. Because it can be misinterpreted, misunderstood, misconstrued,  different languages, different approach, different dictions, different feeling, intonations, pitch, pronunciation.  It comes with the territory and it it could be invasive, offensive, laughable and useless.

BOMBS , BUMS, BUNS, BUMMER

The past few days has been hmmm unbelievable.  I wanted to go to bed everyday with somebody singing me to sleep.  Not leaving me and not waking me up in the morning.  Yes, that's how we all want to be, all we want to be, all we want.  Isn't it what all we want to be?  To not wake up alone anymore.  Let it be known.  There is a better world in deep sleep.  There must be.  Rooms that remain unbroken.  Rooms that need not be shown with the world of the awaken, awaken.   

I heard about the news.  They do not make sense at all.  They somehow steal the senses out of a moment.  They could also somehow mend ties or I don't know.  I would have said enough to know that the things in my sleep should be over in the awaken world.  The need to tell other people to be happy, and kind.  The gladness that's often misunderstood to be the thing that you somehow have felt funny before.  Clever, wit and all the things that bother laughable things that are not really the things that make one glad. 

Tonight will be a nice night to cuddle in the arms of sleep.

MONTHS OVER LEAPING CHANGES

Have you noticed that most people got so serious this year more than any other years?  Okay, it just so happens that it is a leap year and everywhere across, a keen observant can feel that there really is something different going on.  There is the Olympics and the ever spreading confusion and clashes that happens every election year.  You can't deny how it managed to still affect everyone in the whole planet trying to keep abreast with the present goings-on across countries.  And since our country seem to have this awful sense of trying to keep this participation, in no way can we escape the heat that goes on.  Unless you'd try to live some place , some other dimension, or in some other alien part of the city, it can't really affect you unless you make it so.  But then we are all a part of this universe.  The universe that sells its wonder to us everyday and the international network that has managed to play a very big part of our lives.  It sometimes get so tiresome though.  

FULL PLEDGE

What's Going On?  What does it take to be a full-pledged architect? I am still bewildered.  They say or I have read once that the key is not to ask permission.  I may misunderstood the fact that out here, an architecture student needs to graduate from college and then take the board exams after taking an apprenticeship with a licensed architect.  It did not work out that way for a lot of us down here.  I know for a fact that some of the architecture students even started working or have undergone training as an apprentice since their first year (freshman year).  If not a whole lot of us, then quite a few if you insist.  I may not understand the reality that goes on as this happens, but of course, one can never be that expectant. Advocates of the never ending arguments may prove unnecessary since each and every one of them students don't have the same predicament or family dilemma pertaining their need to study and finish, out of respect of their own interests, abilities, capabilities, capacities & from peer pressure.  The school must have been more than happy to oblige with their need just to keep them safer, keep them safe from their own selves.  Making them a more knowledgeable and  productive member of the society.

But what if that system, however good the intention may be, could or would be that very same thing that prevented him or her to reach his or her very best potential.  Wherein the student, could or would have had just said no to all the goings on outside school, and just focused on his own goal.  But however hard the student may have to insist to that ideal notion, the reality seem not to work well with him.  While studying in college, there is this pressure to have the ability for him and his or her peers to pay for the tuition fees and all the necessary needs to stay in school.  And it takes a super humanoid robot to be that careful not to be influenced by his or her own environment.  It is impossible for say a real student to just keep a blind eye to the reality that goes on around him.  It may be possible for those who do not really care.  For those students who seem to have that ignorance to just keep to themselves however much distractions that set in.  It is like the nature and the conflict of the study.  Who knows some other student on a doctorate course must be studying about how this problem persisted in my time?  

But it was real hard to stay focus back then. I have classmates who never seem to have that same determination as I had.  I have classmates who had children way early than they were suppose to.  Unaware of their behavior, almost laughable.  One can't help but just be amazed about the madness.  I have this group of classmates,  one classmate who seem to keep asking me about the answers to the  math problems he had.  Sometimes he would even go out of the room, brought his test paper along with him, and made me answer the test questions outside.  It was really quite embarrassing for him before but I kept wondering why he never really felt that bad before, bringing me in to this state of wonder.  His case was sort of like another guy who just had a child and in no way do we have to settle it but just to help him.  And of course he was more than happy to help in other ways he can.  But all along we became friends, and I eventually became the godfather of one of his child. Of course he was more than happy to keep accompanying me on our saddest days, just as some other classmates who seem to have been closer to each other, and I  always did feel

like the outsider.   

As  we did try and manage to fight for it.  Architecture school is sort of different in so many ways. I'm not really sure how it was with other generations.  But the rooms were quite a few before but it grew much to my amazement.  Before I could even try and go outside it and play music, in a band, with some other group of friends.  Somehow another group needed that exclusivity.  That needed exclusive apart from another group. That gang culture, that group culture, that essence of a tribe.  

But the rooms seem not to stay the same as time goes by, and as we progressed.  Learning locations were set to another place, another environment, different atmospheres.  We adjusted, we were set closer to the Engineering, bringing us to a little more hostile environments.  We see more of nature, and lesser of the cityscape.  We had to walk more further than we used to.  We also had to see more face pollution.  More people to see along the way, along the walk to school.  And stairs got much higher, higher, wooden floors became concretes and students became a lot more than one can expect.  It was like heaven before especially when it rains, showers.

Books were at bay at the library, there's a lot to get lost upon.  Classmates became jumbled up, subjects piled up, and apprenticeship became something to brag about, almost like a full time job.  Walk and walk and walk and walk.  The transport seem to evade me, I needed my own transportation which did not materialize until now. I lost the will to mobilize that fast. There were more conversations that made more sense during walks to and fro.  Teachers were like Gods.  Classmates were like brothers and sisters and bosses were like godfathers. What's going on? This does not need to end I say.

But look at how funny how things work out in the end.

PRETTY CONCRETE FIXATED REINFORCED MASONRY PERSUASION

There really is a big difference,,hmmmm not that big though.. when you get to go out and see more of what you drew on paper is about to be built or to be constructed, to be laid out as something tangibly, concretely real.  Out here we call it "the actual".  Yes, like everything done before is not done actually, if you know what I mean.  But hey it is fun.

Say you have this task where you had to build a flight of stairs.  Like the kind which has a landing in between.  What do they call that kind of set of stairs again? Yes, the rectangular kind, with the landing?  And so, (construction proper)  if you try to be so meticulous about it, it will take a lot of time.  But if you just try to just think of it like clay, or just blocks, or molding a jello, with bones or sticks as structural members inside, that's it!

And there is that partnership with the foreman.  I also have heard about why do engineers and architects keep passing on the great task of manul labor by passing it on to the foreman.  It seems that it is the usual kind of buzz that hangs around every construction task.  And in no way do I need to complain about this hierarchy.  It's like a ball that gets passed to another player, to another player, to another player , and zoomed for a slamdunk.

CLEAN CLEAR, OH DEAR

It cannot be denied.  Words.  This is a year that's just too hot.  And it rains.  The only thing to do for me is just breathe in, breathe out.   But if you try not to care so much and just continue with what is in store for each and everyone.  I do not believe that we will have to panic.

This would sound like the way a person would feel if he or she is suddenly put into a very hard situation at work.  Say a construction task. Or maybe a major urban development.  A major structural endeavor hanging in the balance.  They say we basically have only two ways to go.  Vertically and Horizontally.  I think it is the safest way to build. Most that is built for horizontal use is for transport, and vertical is for people.   There is still a lot to think about the architectural possibilities of a nation.  The question is whether we have the vision to pull on through, or would we much prefer to remain as we are.